Top Tips for Dealing with Aging Parents: Part 2 Home/Stuff

Welcome to Part 2 of Dealing with Aging Parents. Be sure not to miss out on Part 1 Money. I went over all the important issues about money. I hope everyone found it helpful.

I don’t wish for anyone to be going through this situation. I hope that you find some great information. This can help guide your family through this difficult time.

Dealing with aging parents can be very challenging. I broke this topic down into 3 categories:

• Money
• Home/Stuff
• Medical

If you are new to my story. My mother’s health deteriorated quickly and we had to put her in assisted living. My father has memory issues and still lives at home. We are waiting for a larger apartment to move him into assisted living with my mother.

I have had the support of my brother throughout this process. We both have our strengths. I take care of the money and he has handled my mom’s medical stuff. We are both tackling their home and stuff.

Today, I am going to go over our personal experiences with their stuff.

I hope you find some great tips to help you deal with aging parents. My biggest recommendation is that you get started way before you have too. The home and stuff can be overwhelming…at least it has been for us.

First, if you haven’t already, be sure to tackle all things that deal with their money. I gave some great tips in Part 1 Money. Without getting their money in order, you will struggle to make decisions. Money will guide you in making the right decisions.

Now let’s talk about home and stuff.

Full disclosure: I am a type A personality. I keep a very organized home. So, dealing with parents that keep lots of stuff, has been mentally challenging for me. I think it has more to do with their generation, but nevertheless, they have a lot of stuff.

Let’s talk about how to tackle the STUFF…

Prioritize

Dealing with aging parents and their stuff is overwhelming. The best way to start is to prioritize. What that means is working with the everyday items.

With my situation, this meant going through the items that they will be taking to assisted living. In our situation, this was a huge downsizing for my parents.

For reference: We needed to figure out what they would be taking from their 3400-square foot home to a 2-bedroom apartment.

With most assisted living facilities, there will not be a kitchen. Usually a kitchenette with a small refrigerator, microwave, and sink. All we needed was a few kitchen items..no small appliances. The assisted living serves 3 meals a day, and there are snacks all day long.

We also had to choose the furniture that they would be taking. We made sure to go through all of the furniture pieces. We found it best to clean out the furniture at the old home. Start fresh at the new apartment.

We also had to go through the closets. We had to pick which clothes they would need at the new apartment and all the toiletries.

This system worked out great. We were able to move into the new apartment without any excess items.

Now we are stuck with a house full of everything that still needs a place to go…

Valuables

Valuables is a great place to start next. Dealing with aging parents means they most likely collected things. Now we want to determine which items have value.

We first started with asking my parents. They named several areas in the house that we would find valuables.

When I talk about valuables, I mean things that are worth money.

This can mean:

• Paper Bonds
• Rare Coins
• Crystal
• Silver/Gold
• China
• Antique Furniture
• Rugs

When I talk about valuables, I don’t mean sentimental items. We will get to those later.

Once you have made a list of all the valuables, we need to determine what to do with each item.

We first asked my parents what they wanted to do.

With all the items that they wanted to keep, we had to figure out what to do with them.

Items like bonds and coins were put into a family safety deposit box.

For the larger items that they wanted us to keep, we had to decide who wanted to take the items. These were mostly crystal, china, and silver.

The leftover items were put aside. Our realtor has given us several companies that specialize in auctions and consignment shops. One of the great reasons to hire a realtor. They are a wealth of knowledge in more than selling a home.

The one thing that you have to prepare your parents for is the value. These types of items are not worth what they think they are worth. The younger generation does not see value in these types of items. Fewer homes have formal living areas. Thus, most people do not want these items.

It will take a lot of conversations and time, but be patient.

One note about this generation is to check every drawer and cabinet. We have found that they keep cash everywhere. Not sure why this is a thing, but be careful not to throw out stuff. Take the time to sort through everything.

Sentimental Items

When it comes to sentimental items, I let my parents make all the decisions. You never know what they may consider sentimental.

Most of the items that my parents found sentimental were photo albums. This was easy for us, we took these items over to the assisted living apartment.

Any other sentimental items were given to a family member that shared the sentiment. From there, it is your choice what you do with it.

Everything Else

This is where it gets tricky dealing with aging parents. The rest of the “Stuff”.

Now that you have secured all the valuables, you are left with the rest.

This is the hardest part. Most likely you are looking at over 50 years’ worth of stuff.

This will take the most time. We broke it down by room.

In each room you need to have a pile of :

• Keep
• Sell
• Donate
• Trash

If you have decided to keep an item, you need to remove it immediately. This could mean that you are keeping an item or giving it to a friend or family member.

If you decide to sell an item, you need to decide how you will sell it. Most people will have a garage sale. Since my parents’ neighborhood does not allow yard sales, we did not have this option. Some people have been very successful with Ebay or Facebook Marketplace.

All those options are time-consuming, so make sure that the item has value.

A donation is a great option for stuff in good condition. There are several options for donations.

The rest is trash. Depending on how much stuff you have, you may need to bring in a dumpster or a trash service.

I hope this helps get you started on tackling the home. This has been the most difficult for us.

Be sure to take time for yourself. Find a way to deal with the stress. No one prepares you for this part of life.

Be sure to stay tuned for Part 3 Medical.